GEM Life Coaching & Consulting

Here is your opportunity to feel in control of your time and to have the time and energy to really enjoy your family and friends. You have the power to make choices and influence the way you spend your time and energy. By taking back control of your life you will feel more deeply satisfied this holiday season and in the New Year!

The good news is that I will be sharing with you some of my proven holiday stress busting strategies so that you can focus on the real meaning of the holiday season.

Here are some of my Effective Stress Management Strategies which you can start using today!

Take Control of the Things You Can Control
At any point in your life there are things which you can and cannot control. As much as you would like to, you cannot control other people’s behaviour, traffic, long line-ups, the number of hours in the day, the timing of your teenager’s mood swing nor your toddler’s temper tantrum. So, do not waste your precious energy stressing out about these things. Focus on managing your stress reaction to the things you can control. For example, how you react to and treat other people. You may be seeing people who are irritating to you. Choose not to get ‘baited’ by them. Take a deep breath, be polite and walk away. Have no regrets about your own behaviour. Manage your to-do list (how many items on it) and how your money is spent (holiday budget). Think carefully about how your time is spent (what, where and with whom).

Prioritize
What is the Big Picture of what you want to create for the holiday season? This is different from what you think that you should do and want. Rise above the chaos and decide what you really want in your life. Decide what traditions offer the most positive impact and remove the superfluous activities. This assessment will help you to focus your energy as well as your decision making. You will be able to make choices more quickly and easily when your schedule is being developed and when events arise (life happens!). By saying ’no’ it does not mean that you are difficult or uncaring. Saying ‘no’ is recognizing your limits and being selective in what you choose to do. Everyone is busy at this time. They will understand.

Simplify and Consolidate
Simplify what, how and when you will do your activities. For example, remove all of the non-priority tasks and events from your calendar. Too many activities, even if they are fun activities can cause you to become frazzled and stressed. Make a comprehensive list of everything you need to purchase and accomplish. Shop early and at low volume times (mornings). Aim to visit the selected store/mall one time only. Consider shopping online. If you find a great gift at a great price, consider who else on your list it would be suitable for as a gift. Wrap gifts as you buy them.

Consolidate your efforts so that you are most efficient. This strategy refers to completing similar tasks or types of work all at the same time. For example, set out specific times for card writing, baking, shopping, fun, and social events. Curb needless interruptions by focusing on one specific activity at a time. Avoid the temptation to switch around and get distracted. Use your energy cycles to your advantage. If mornings are your high energy times do your high priority items in the morning. You will be much less efficient if you save them for the late evening. You will be amazed by how much more you will get done!

Set Realistic Expectations
Most of our stress is not caused by the situation itself, but how it compares with our expectations of ourselves and of others. When our expectations are unrealistic, we are almost guaranteed to feel some disappointment, frustration and even anger – it is a trap we unwittingly set for ourselves. So, why do we choose to do it? The reality is that we are human and therefore we can’t do it all, we can’t be all things to all people, we will make mistakes, and no matter how hard we try there are some people who we just cannot please. It would be easier if we stopped putting such impossible expectations on ourselves. Aim high but don’t purposely set yourself up to fail.

For the family holiday celebrations, delegate! You can’t do it all and there is no reason that you should. Make your meals into a potluck meal. You will get a variety of foods and everyone will feel like they are contributing to the fun. Also, rather than trying to run around taking all of the pictures, put out disposable cameras so that everyone can play a part in capturing the great moments. You will likely have lots of fun surprises when you get the pictures developed!

Make Healthy Choices to Manage Your Stress
Making healthy choices to cope with the stress of the holidays is essential. We are in control of these choices. Poor choices such as overeating, excessive alcohol or being passive abusive only mask our problems and often they make them worse. Choose to ignore that little voice in your head which is steering you in the wrong direction, especially the negative self talk. Make healthy choices such as good nutrition, physical activity, assertiveness, relaxation techniques (breathe deeply!), limited caffeine and more sleep. When faced with a large buffet table I suggest that you choose only the foods you really love and serve yourself smaller portion sizes. By choosing healthy coping strategies we are physically and mentally stronger so we are able cope better with unexpected and frustrating situations.

Have Fun!
It is so important to incorporate fun and humour into your life. You will be able to create an atmosphere that is alive and full of vitality – a happy place to be. A deep belly laugh stimulates the brain to produce endorphins. These endorphins renew you physically, mentally and emotionally. Also, they contribute to feelings of relaxation and refreshment. I savour the magical feeling which is created when my children and I have a good laugh together. You don’t have to create elaborate ‘have fun’ plans. Look for humour and fun in your everyday life – dance with your kids/your partner, sing your favourite holiday tunes, doodle, create a snowman, wander around a book store, go ice skating, wear a colorful scarf, surprise a friend who could use a laugh, experience the holidays through the eyes of a child – how wonderful!

Be Present in the Moment
You have a good sense of the big picture which you want to create for the holiday season, you have simplified, consolidated, set realistic expectations and you are making healthy choices to manage your stress – including having fun. Great!

The structures are in place for you to be present in the moments of your holiday season. Do a great job where you do spend your time and energy. Feel fantastic when you are completing your holiday shopping. Get out of the kitchen and socialize with your guests. Really listen to people. Sing holiday songs with meaning and volume!

Savour the love, peace and joy that is all around you!